Do you ever wonder what might have been?

When I was a wee, little girl, my mother made a decision that would forever change my life (and hers).  She made the decision to move us to the United States; the country where the streets are paved with gold; where milk and honey run abundant; the place where anything is possible!

Well, actually, she moved us here because she had heart disease and the doctors had recommended open-heart surgery.  She was smart enough to know that was not a procedure to be done in a third-world country.

We also moved because we already had family here.  Her sister had moved here 10 years earlier and having started her own family, had brought my grandmother over to help with her kids.


I moved here when I was seven and have never been back.  For all intensive purposes, I am a full-fledged American.  I have very few memories of my time in Bolivia.  The conclusion I've come to about this is that my mind could not hold childhood memories AND learn a new language at the same time. 

Back when I was a kid, they did not have ESL, ESOL, or any of those assimilation programs.  I had to learn English the old fashioned-way, by immersion!

Fast forward fifteen years (give or take).  As a typical American girl, I went to college after high school.  I earned a useless degree in History and after graduation, I married my high school sweetheart.

Today, I have a house with a white-picket fence, two point five kids, and a husband.  Except that our fence isn't really picket.  Nor is it white. 

But anyway, the other day, all five of us were hanging out in the backyard.  I was trying to teach the dog to fetch (it was more I was fetching and the dog was laughing), Hubby was mowing the yard, BG was in her rocketship (we have a small play-yard with two swings and a fort), and Buddy was in the baby swing.  I couldn't pass it up.  I ran in the house to grab my new camera that Santa brought me for Christmas!  I started messing around with the settings.  Recently, I learned about two particular features my camera has:  Shutter Speed Priority and Aperture Priority.  Hence, the above photo.

We had SUCH a nice time that day.  For once, we were all home AND awake at the same time.  We weren't rushed for time and we were just enjoying each other's company.  I felt so much joy and peace at that moment.  It was pure, unadulterated contentment. 

And then the record scratched!  It was at the peak of this stream of thought that I started wondering what might have been.

What might have been if my mother had not needed open-heart surgery?  What might my life be like if I had stayed in Bolivia?  I definitely would not have these particular people as my family.  Would I have gotten married?  Would I have more than two kids?  Would I have had a college education?  Would I dream of a different life?  Would I feel like something was missing or would I be happy?

This is not the first time these what-ifs have encroached my thoughts.  How many people can point to one moment in their life where their life truly changed forever?

Hubby was a military brat.  He had been halfway around the world already when we met.  But he ended up at my high school because his mother decided to move there instead of to Hawaii.  In Hawaii, we would not have met.

This is no coincidence.  We were meant to meet and to make these beautiful children together.  I don't know what our future holds, but I know that I am right where I should be.

I believe that God has a purpose for us.  Perhaps if I'm patient, he will reveal what it is, in due time.