Am I a helicopter mom?!Warning - BG is fine, but this is a sad post.

This event occurred in late June...  I waffled about sharing it.  Finally, sharing won out.

I know, first hand, what it's like to be overprotected.  I try really hard not to be overbearing.  Even though sometimes, it feels like it's in my nature.  But, a few weeks ago, a co-worker labeled me "helicopter mom."  Read my story and tell me what you think?

The week was going normally.  Wake up each morning, feed the kids, drop them off to daycare.  At one point during the week, I even chatted with BG's daycare owner.  We chatted about a few inane things.  Then I went to work.

On Thursday, when I went to pick up BG from school, amongst the daily papers, was a permission slip for a field trip.  Oh, I thought, that could be fun.  Until I saw that it was for a trip to the pool; ON FRIDAY, the next day!  In fact, it was for the next several Fridays until sometime in August!

I was aghast!  How could she (the daycare owner) not have said anything about this to me when we talked?  And how come we didn't get the permission slip at the beginning of the week, or at least on Wednesday?!  How could I make such a decision in one day!?

I had a million questions.  Which of the teachers was going on this trip?  Did they have any type of water safety training?  What exactly was the plan for watching 15 plus 3-5 year old kids at the pool?!

Now I have to tell you, BG is very mature, but she is still only three and a half.  And she only recently became comfortable with water.  This is after an eight week parent/child swimming class with Daddy!  How could I send a child who screams when water ends up on her face in the safety of our bathtub to a pool with rowdy kids and random splashing water?!

After about thirty minutes of fuming, I made my decision.  Hell no, she wasn't going!

But even after making my decision, I couldn't let it go.

Generally, if I feel like I'm on the verge of being overbearing, I ask Hubby what he would do?!  Hubby is my voice of reason, my ground.  I decided that if he thought it was ok, then I would let her go.

When I asked him about it?!  His answer was a resounding NO!

Now that it was settled, the job fell upon me to tell a three year old that she would be staying behind while ALL her classmates took a field trip.  *Sigh*

I decided to wait 'til morning.

I couldn't stop thinking about it.  I dreamt about it even.

When I woke up, as I was searching in the clean laundry basket for her clothes, her bathing suit was right on top.  I was already guilt-ridden about telling her she couldn't go, so I talked to Hubby again.  I asked him if he thought it would be ok to let her go this one time and see how she did.  I would go there to keep an eye on things.  He agreed this could work.

I packed her things and took her to daycare.  Part of me felt good about our decision but the other part of me half expected a line of irate parents at the door.

When we arrived, all the kids were in their suits, ready to go.  The excitement in the air was palpable!  One boy even said to BG that they were going to the pool today!  That would've gone over well if I had stuck to our original plan.

I was taken aback by the other parents seeming lack of concern.  Was I blowing this way out of proportion?!

I grudgingly handed over the signed permission slip and the money but I told her I was only allowing this one trip.  Then I talked to two of the teachers who were going about BG's comfort level in the pool.  I asked them to keep a close watch on her.  They promised they would.

I drove to work and was a neurotic mess.  As I walked in, I kept thinking that I needed to leave to go to the pool.  That is when my co-worker came over to chat.  I explained the story.  I told her I was crazy with worry.  My baby had water issues and I didn't want her to be traumatized.  Water is a tricky thing. All it takes is one bad experience to traumatize you for life.  I know this from personal experience.  And she's only three.  That is my co-worker suggested I was being a helicopter mom!

I was really upset by the title.  But, it didn't deter me.  Shortly after that I went to the pool and I watched, through the glass, as BG's class played in the water.  BG was jumping up and down, something she does when she's excited; holding on to a railing near the entrance of the pool.  There were three teachers present, one very close to BG, another teacher was further in the water, and the third teacher was retrieving a child from the bleachers.  There were about 15 kids in the water from the daycare.  The lifeguards were probably no older than sixteen.  And while they seemed alert and were doing their job, I was still uneasy.  It is impossible to know what a kid is doing in the water.  Kids go under all the time, for various reasons.  How was anyone to know that any of those kids was not under the water, drowning?  At such a young age, even if they are good swimmers, they are still not strong enough to stay afloat if something happens. 

After watching for a while, I left (against my better judgment) instead of staying like I originally planned.  An hour later, I called the school to make sure everyone was okay.  The owner answered the phone and told me everyone had enjoyed themselves immensely.  And they were looking forward to next week. Her toned implied that I worried for nothing.

Every Friday was too much for me to handle.  I talked to the daycare owner and convinced her that it was crazy to take the younger kids to the pool every Friday.  She agreed that it was a logistical nightmare (because of car seats and maturity levels).  Thankfully, she decided that she would only take BG's class every other week. 

I take my kids to daycare so I can work.  Generally speaking, I strongly trust both providers with my kids.  I am confident that my kids are safe and in good hands.  I don't have to worry about them while I'm not with them.  And isn't that the point?!  Well, all this was out the window on pool day Fridays. 

I talked to several mom's about this and the majority of them agreed with me that while it appeared safe, she was in fact too young for this particular of excursion.

**********

The pool trips are finally over.  At last, I can breathe again.  The only bad thing that happened during these trips is that BG lost a pair of crocks and had to wear a spare pair the school had for the rest of the day.  No one drowned, no child was left behind.  I, however, emerged with frayed nerves and one less pair of shoes.

While this post was still in itss draft stage, I came across the tragic loss of Christian Drews.  Little Christian was three years old and he drowned in a pond behind the Drews' home. 

Drowning is real my friends, make no bones about it.

Helicopter mom or not, if ever you feel it in your heart that your child is in danger it is your job to act!  Despite of what others may think.  I believe that children have guardian angels and they are the ones who give parents that sixth sense nudge when something is wrong.  I can't tell you how many times I have gotten up from whatever I was doing late at night just to go check on Buddy.  Unbidden by sound or reason, to find his face covered by a blanket or his leg stuck in the slats while he sleeps.

If you're inclined to prayer, I ask that you please keep the Drews in yours.  I could never (and hope I never have to) imagine how deep their sorrow runs.